Dollars and Senseless

I had to wait in line to, I don’t know, buy a fucking coffee or whatever. I was like, This sucks. I want to go back to being famous.
Kevin Bacon

Sunday morning. I'm getting in from a two-hour walk about town. I was going cabin crazy and needed to get outside and move around before the heat became unbearable—and early enough to beat the lines for coffee. I easily scored an iced coffee with so-called cream1 and figured I'd push my luck by walking uptown to buy a baguette from Metropolitan Bakery. Unfortunately, the line was already spilling out of the door by the time I arrived.

The well-off will stand in line for the most absurd things. A $6 red-eye isn't worth the six dollars, let alone fifteen minutes of queueing for the privilege of being overcharged. And we'll even leave a tip for the hassle! Or how anyone can unironically stand in a breadline to pay $4.50 for a baguette is beyond me. And then there are the crowds broiling on the summer asphalt of a Locust Street parking lot during a heatwave as they wait 40 minutes or longer for the next available cafe table to brunch on scrambled eggs and bacon at $18 a plate or maybe the $20 bagel with lox. People with money are not necessarily wise or even very bright, but they do seem to have lots of spare time.

  1. Coffee shops typically give you milk when you ask for cream. You might get half-and-half if you're lucky. Neither of those is cream. Trust me, and try real cream in your coffee sometime. It is a delight.2 ↩︎

  2. Unless you're vegan, of course, in which case it's all so much suffering and death, like pretty much everything, really. ↩︎

Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money 1965 Music Video HD