Not so much Vibing as Vibrating

The sky is grey and feigning as if to storm. There will be a hard drizzle at best. At best. Unfooled by the ambiance, I ordered groceries. I use Instacart now because I'm determined to break up with Amazon. It is difficult. We have so many fond memories together from before when things were good and not like they are now.¹ I will miss Whole Foods delivery most.

I ordered a particular and specific brand of chocolate chip cookies from Giant Supermarket and requested no substitutions. Refund, please! The shopper must have figured I wasn't in my right mind, as no man ought to go without cookies, so he substituted my out-of-stock selection with oatmeal raisin cookies. Five-star shopper, no cap. I ate the whole damn bag for lunch in a sugar frenzy.

I ordered some freeze-dried coffee on a lark, too. It's not great, but I've definitely waited in line for a far worse cup to be handed over grudgingly by undiscovered movie stars passing the time by playing at barista. I must like it all right. I drank three cups of the stuff, and now I'm buzzing like a bumblebee.

In other news, National Public Data, a background-checking company (and data broker), was hacked, and the sensitive personal information (SPI) of roughly 3 billion people has been uploaded to the dark web.² This includes SSNs, phone numbers, and the address of every place you've lived going back decades. (As a matter of indemnification, I should clarify that there is a lawsuit alleging NPD was breached, along with a suspiciously gigantic online data dump of billions of people's SPI that happens to match the description alleged in the aforementioned lawsuit.) I put a freeze on all my accounts. Check your credit monitoring service regularly and hope for the best.³