Maybe a Quick Nap, First
After a week of mostly pleasant weather1, summer is trying for a comeback. Heat and humidity are on the rise. No matter. I have chores and maintenance to catch up on, so I'll hang around inside, overindulging in air conditioning and microbrews. I can almost hear you shouting to yourself, "That'll only make Global Warming worse!" I don't disagree with you,2 but I don't feel too bad about it, either.3 If the email I recently received from PECO is to be believed, I'm using forty-eight percent less electricity than my average neighbor, while my most energy-efficient neighbors are using forty-four percent less electricity than me, or seventy-one percent less than the average. I'm honestly not sure how they're accomplishing that, but I suspect the energy usage is a lot higher at their summer homes.
The important thing to know here is that I am procrastinating. I typically avoid responsibilities by wasting time lurking in the comments of Mastodon, Facebook, Instagram, Reddit, and so forth. I read the brainrot4 and skibbidi5 the memes, coming away all the dumber for it,6 but I almost never comment.7 Web 2.0 may have been a bad idea. It's like cigarettes for your soul.8 I'm trying to quit. Instead of reading online nonsense to help put all the things off, I'm writing online nonsense. I'm a contributor, doing my part.9 That way, I can imagine I'm being more productive than if I were scrolling — even as my chores remain every bit as undone!
Alright, it's actually starting to get cold in here. I better turn off the a.c. and get to work.
-
What qualifies as pleasant varies from person to person. Me, I love the rain. ↩︎
-
The phrase I don't disagree with you is one of those de-escalation tricks of the trade used by corporate middle managers everywhere to enrage subordinates. We used to call that sort of thing double-speak, but all things Orwellian are ++good now because, as the Ministry of Listicles says, "Orwell Got It ALL Wrong, Comrade, and Here's Why..." ↩︎
-
How companies blame you for climate change (BBC.com, 2022) ↩︎
-
Blud are you dumb? Are you getting rude to man? - YouTube ↩︎
-
Confession: I unironically enjoy Skibbidi Toilet. ↩︎
-
Actual fact: I went ten years between posting comments on Reddit. ↩︎