Don't Stab the Messenger

As I neared the corner of 20th & Walnut, the Citizen app alerted on my phone. It warned of a man on 19th & Walnut armed with a chair. I didn't see any chairs, but I could tell you who had probably had one a minute ago. The filthy madman was flailing his arms about and swearing at the top of his lungs. Naturally, I turned south on 20th to Pine, a more pleasant walk. A few minutes later, I got another alert about a person stabbed with a screwdriver on 19th & Chestnut. A coincidence, I'm sure. By the time I'd reached 9th Street, there'd been a robbery in some other neighborhood far away. Another quiet Sunday in the city.